you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
