We're facebook friends in real life
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We left an ass print on the piano.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
