youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
