so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize