Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
