I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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