apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
