I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
