I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
