Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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