sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
