is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize