I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
