what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
