Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize