the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
