Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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