I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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