I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
this hospital has no fireball
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
