The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
