God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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