I'm lost and stupid without you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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