shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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