My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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