how hairy? two words: wookie tits
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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