I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
