Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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