I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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