Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
