her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
