just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
