Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
