Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
