i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
