sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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