someone threw a dead crab at me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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