He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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