Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
