no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Houston, we have a squirter
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
