i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
