New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
