Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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