i think my tv is drunk
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
