I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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