nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my being single is dangerous.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
