yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
