Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
