he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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