I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
