i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
