the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize