I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
