Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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