She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
