i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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