One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
