so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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