So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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