I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh god it's open bar.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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