he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize