i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My feet surprised me
Randomize
