Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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