it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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