the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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