I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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