I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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