I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
