I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
