You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize