So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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