it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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