so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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