Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
