i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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