I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
