Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
