I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
