I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
