so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
