Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
