Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
