My first STD was from a foam party
I can text with my tongue
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
