If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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